There goes without saying that no country in this world is better than another, but Japanese may come pretty close. The Japanese way of living is a very balanced way of living and all we can do is learn from them.
Contrary to Hector Garcia and Frances Morales’s book, the Ikigai Encyclopedia by Ken Mogi defines “ikigai” as being in harmony with the environment and those around yourself. He describes in this book, that in order to live a happy life, Japapnese people enjoy eating something sweet/enjoyable in the morning. You do not need to do something enjoyable for work but you can find something that you enjoy to do every day after work, you can pursue you passion after work hours. You can find meaning in every situation.
Another Japanese concept is Nagomi-this refers to balance, comfort and peace for the heart& mind, the equilibrium of multiple factor. In this other book- The way of Nagomi, Mogi suggests that in orders to find nagomi you need to forgive yourself your past mistakes and forgive others for the things they made against you.
You do not need to love something in order to find an ikigai, you only need to find small enjoyable things around yourself- you need to search for the activity you do without caring what others think of you. In order to remain yourself, as he suggests, you need to embrace change and leave the past behind.
I hope that in this new year you will learn to love yourself, to take one step at a time in the direction of your dreams. Believe in yourself.You are strong. YOU CAN 🙂
We all want happiness in our life, but, most of the time, we don’t appreciate the things we already have before wishing we had something else.
The first step is to be grateful for what you have even if you have little and also, be grateful for where you are right now. Your past self could not be believe what you went through and where are you know. Be calm and grateful. Even if you are feeling lost right now, it is a step in discovering who you are really are. As Jeff Gains, says in his book, Find who you really are, you don’t need to find your vocation, you need to try new things and be on the move. Eventually, something will take over, will call you just like when you fall in love. As Jay Shetty say Explore & Experiment in order to find out who you really are.
Be open to learn new things and be aware of the opportunities you came along. Pivot around the obstacles. There is a word I really like , it is called neuroplasticity – the ability of your organism to replace/reprogram your existing patterns /genes into new ones. This means that even though you may suck at something , for example at socializing with people, you may have anxiety, you can suppress that by putting yourself into new situations and go talk to people in social engagements.
In the book The power of Failure, dr. Tim Cantopher, say that a person is more happier if he has an objective. Those objectives should be clear and to be clear about what you want in life. He says that any disease related to stress should be seen as a indicator of a need to change. Also, he emphasizes that you need to pay attention to your relationships. In order to feel good, you need to also receive, not to be always that constantly gives.
Read, listen to everything around yourself, and also pay attention to your inner world while dealing with the world. You can do everything you want. Trust yourself. Trust yourself in any situation.
It goes without saying that health is the most important aspect of your life. Not being healthy can limit you from performing certain activities and while being sick, it is the thing that you miss the most, that you wish you were grateful for being healthy.
One of the key steps to having a healthier life is to begin to accommodate daily exercise in your daily life. For the next month, plan to have some objectives:
-daily walk
-a week without sugar, limit your intake only in weekend in small amounts
The emotions that you have can bring you insight on why certain situations are not good for you. More and more, different author came to the conclusion that oriental medicine already know that physical health is in closely bond with the emotions you are experience. That is why when exercising, the brain releases dopamine, which makes you feel good.
The people of Okinawa, a Japanese island manage to live a longer and healthier life than anyone else. Their secret is that they do daily exercise, have a healthy diet rich in vegetables & fruits and fish. In addition to that, they provide great support towards each other and have different activities & hobbies. Being surrounded by people you cherish, strengthens your immunity that protects you from illnesses. That is a great lesson for all of us, surround yourself with great people that are there for you even in bad times, not only when everything is perfect. Being healthy means being also in a great mental shape
The first sign of an existential crisis is feeling lost. You feel that you are lost in someone else life and you wonder how you got there. Usually, this feeling of being lost comes as a result of something bad that has happened in your life that makes you question your entire life. The decisions that brought you here, clearly won’t take you further.
BREATHE. How are you feeling now? Are you feeling anxious, stressed or do you feel depressed? Pause for a moment and acknowledge your state of mind. Why are you feeling this way? Has someone made you feel unworthy or do they hurt you in some way? Or maybe you are mad at yourself for not achieving something? Maybe, you wanted something to do , but you’ve never had the courage to do so. For example, I was working for a multinational, staying overtime each day and dreaming, precisely having nightmares every night about wrong reports. while the world and including myself experiencing a global pandemic, I was dealing as well with a psychopath boss at work that made me exhausted. I have lost myself, without me noticing I experienced a harsh depression that was undiagnosed only later, at one point I had no way out only to quit without having a job in the middle of a pandemic. Remember, nobody has the right to make you feel unworthy and make sure you value your mental and psychical health while you trying to achieve greatness at work. As some one said, remember that “we work to live, not live to work”, remember you are more than your work.
The key to overcome your existential crisis is to look in within. What do you value? Do you value free time, family, money, love, friendships? Make a list with your priorities. You have no idea what are your life priories? No problem, start a list with makes you happy, calm, it could be a walk in a park, it could be drawing or listening to music. As Hector Garcia and Frances Miralles wrote in their book Ikigai (https://www.amazon.com/Ikigai-Japanese-Secret-Long-Happy/dp/0143130722)the secret to discovering your passions is looking at your childhood since a child is free from the adult imposed barriers and most of his time, he expresses what his heart really wants. As I look back on my childhood, I remember that really liked books and even wrote a poem, so it is no wonder that know I found that I enjoy writing as well. To be hones, reading helped me a lot through difficult times, I had access to wonderful books that helped me through my rough times. There are plenty of books that offer you advice on how to overcome anxiety, depression and also sorts of difficult times in your life. One book I recommend is the book written by Nicole LePera ( How to do the work); this book provides excellent tools in understating yourself.
All books essentially consider an existential crisis a wake up call, you were on pilot mode, not thinking what you were doing and now , you begin to feel. Yes, you may feel lost, angry, but the outcome, even though is discovered through a long journey will be extraordinary. As Viktor Frankl says in his book The Man’s Search for Meaning, people want meaning in their life, they want a purpose to live for; whether is small or big, it doesn’t matter, it can be as simple of providing for your family or it can be as complex as curing a disease. When I read this book, it made sense, we humans need purpose, money can bring happiness, but if we do not have purpose in life, we can feel lost. Also, it is good to question things, as author James Hollis ( book Finding meaning in the second half of life) says having a crisis is a good thing, since it may be you have a mission in life, something that you put off and wants to unveil itself. Also, for those who do not like to read or do not have time, please listen to Jay Shetty’s podcast Purpose, this podcast essentially discusses purpose in life and as well different important topics in one’s life.
I hope that this helps. Remember, each step you take will bring you closer to a better version of yourself. You’ve got this.
Since you’ve found this article, maybe you need something to change in your life. Believe me, I was in your shoes and I still am. Let’s say that this blog is my way of doing so.
Acknowledge where you are at this point in your life. Is everything alright? Did you want to achieve something by a certain age and you didn’t. That’s okay, there’s no time limit to your dreams. Check in first your mental state: are you angry all the time-why this may happen? Are you happy? Are you okay?…Check and list your emotions that you are going through at this stage.
After you have acknowledged your emotions, try to find a reason why you are feeling this way-did you suffered from a heartbreak, or maybe you’ve lost your job? In many case, the reasons may be superficial. As psychologists say, suffering may come from your childhood; you were conditioned to behave or act in a certain way. I recommend you start reading the book “How to do the work” by Nicole LePera to help you in that area. Dig deep down into your condition and you may find yourself starting to change. It will be messy, you will be angry towards those who have raised you, but nobody’s at fault here. You have to break your old pattern and evolve into a new human being. The next step- your reinvention. After all, humans constantly evolve and change during their lives, you were not the same person you were 10 years ago, but that’s okay. Nobody expects that.
Dare to dream. What do you want to do with your life? Do you want to switch careers, do you want to find the love of our life? Start breaking your major goals into small ones: changing careers – such as figuring out what you are good at, taking some classes; finding love-meet new people, don’t judge people so easily. Find your “ikigai” ( your meaning in life). I recommend you read the book “The Ikigai Journey: A Practical Guide to Finding Happiness and Purpose the Japanese Way” by Hector Garcia.
I know that this blog post, probably didn’t help you a lot, it may be only a superficial recommendation from my part, but I hope that you will be able to transform your life for better.
You are not multidimensional, you are multidimensional. Your story is not entirely bad if wrong, is a succession of lessons, people, loves, bad & beautiful things. It’s every second that your heart is beating.
One day you are happy and the next the day you find yourself, crying your eyes out of head, your heart is beating fast, you feel sad and you wonder what you did wrong. My dear, something is clearly wrong, maybe you put work on the top spot in your life priorities while your health was declining and you didn’t had anyone around because you were too busy working. Or, maybe you put someone’s else needs first that you have forgotten that YOU, yes actually YOU are also a HUMAN BEING in this world. So, WAKE UP. The world needs you to be yourself and the world needs you also to be healthy and happy. It’s time to rethink and redesign your life.
Your mental well being starts by acknowledging your emotions. How an I feeling? Am I being stressed? Am I angry?, Am I happy? These questions may not be easy at first to ask yourself, but with time you will be an expert at recognizing your emotions.
You may say that you are OK, but are you really? You will find yourself after work constantly browsing through clothes website buying everything juts because it was on sales or it was a nice color. So, when you are going to wear that dress/shirt if you are all day at work. Take it from me, I was there buying things just to fill in a void that I was feeling. Putting too much effort on solely one aspect of your life can cause anxiety ( you constantly feel that that you are not doing the best at work even though that is the only thing you do) or depression or both. You can spiral quickly into depression after you were in burnout and then you only realize that there is more to life than work. So, my darling make a list of what you value in life and start prioritizing your well-being: mentally & emotionally. Remember that one person is your life that is always there for you is YOU, your body and soul. You may have a beautiful soul, but that souls needs a healthy body to live in, not a train wreck that war overworked until your bones come out of it. Being kind means being kind to yourself first and then to others. Take care of you, not one else will.
Notes from Ladybug 