What makes you happy? Do you really know what really means to be at peace with yourself and with where are you in life? One of the ways to achieve that, it may be to live a simple life, since often times clarity brings perspective in your life. Not being tied to your possessions, may bring you focus on what matters the most.
Day by day, we have to deal with our emotions and some times emotions may brings us to the edge. You start to fell empty, not knowing how to deal with negative emotions, then you start eating without noticing. Food may bring comfort, but will not fill in your void. A nutritionist once said that compulsive eating is about emotions: what are you feeling ? Depressed, tired, unloved? What is missing. Often times, we eat as a result of lack of affection in our life. So, sit down and start writing, analyze your thoughts and emotions.
Living a simple life means knowing your principles and values in life. You will not compare with someone else’ s standards and you will be content with what you have. Just take a look at Japanese people, they value simple things in life and love the craftsmanship and commitment that is put in creating something ( ikebana, tea, etc).
You cannot know yourself at once, but you can day by day, start to know yourself, what makes you happy, what is important for you and what is worth your time.
The best kind of love that you can experience is self love…that was straight like a quote 🙂 maybe it is, maybe I have heard it somewhere before. But it is true, in order to receive and give love, you need to start loving yourself.
I have recently read Jay Shetty’s “8 Rules Of Love” and one of the main ideas were that you receive what you give, therefore you must spread kindness. He talks in dept also about karma and other stuff, but this is true-be kind to others. Also, he suggests that everyone must be careful how they present themselves to the world, because that version can make someone fall in love and then you will say that it is not you- ” it was just a mask”, that means that is your fault since you did not presented your authentic self. I recommend you read this book, it shifts your perspectives on love. Another great thing that he said that when searching for love; especially when meeting someone new, you should focus on 3 things and the first dates: if you like their personality, if you respect their values and if you would like to help him/her fulfill his/her dreams. Also, in a recent interview with Drew Barrymore, when he was asked by her on why she is not finding romantic partner, he said, that she should analyze if she has love in her life, maybe is experiencing in other ways trough her friendships, family, because after all love is not entirely romantic life. I thought that this is a powerful way to view life, be grateful and search for love of any kind, not just for the “man of your dreams”.
Life is complex, and you may not have it all at this moment, but you need to be patient and be kind to others and yourself. I will add something, when pursuing a life partner, make sure you pin point what you actually want in a partner. Start searching and remember action is needed after all in all aspects of our lives.
Minimalism is a concept that you may have from time to time, but you do not fully grasp it or align to its values. Minimalism, essentially is living with less, living with intention.
From what I have seen on YouTube videos, on styling channel, capsule wardrobes was a way that they presented minimalism . Simply putting, those girls they were styling gray, beige, white and black clothes since these colors were interchangeable and they will always match with each other, something that did not appeal to me at all. But minimalism in therms of wardrobe doesn’t have to be that way, it should be selecting the colors that suits you and the colors that you love. I recommend reading David Zyla’s book “Color your style” in order to find the colors that best suit or watch videos on YouTube related to personal color analysis, this way you will wear flattering clothes and you will not buy ruthlessly fast fashion or clothes that will only be in the land field.
Living your life doesn’t mean getting attached to things as Joshua Becker says in his book “ Living with less”m, it means living and spending more time with people in your life. He suggests having less things, as this way you are not own by the things you won, meaning that a bigger house requires bigger maintenance expenses that will lead you working overtime and feeling tired, you will not be able to enjoy things in life, you will only be controlled by them. Be careful not to buy things to appear wealthy in the eyes of other since others do not care. At the end, what matters in my opinion is how you feel, you want to be happy and free or you feel that you need that you must go in debt to buy a house just because others are settling down. For others, having a home even tough through debt may bring comfort, while for other may bring anxiety thinking about debt repayment. I have said it before, buy a house only when you are ready if this is is you in the last example, that way you will feel more at ease ( maybe after you find yourself in a promising field that it will provide you mental security that you are in the right path, bear in mind that this is only one way of thinking and you should always do what makes sense for you and your family).
Another internet blogger in the field of minimalism, Francine Jay suggests buying only what is necessary and also when buying keep the rule, one in, one out from your house- donate, sell or throw anything that is of no use or you really like it. She says that our things can be split into 3 categories: useful, beautiful and emotional. Think also about buying locally since it is more gentle to the environment and helps local economy.
One quote that I really liked is: “ success and excess are not the same thing “ (Joshua Becker). Becker says that being healthy for you in order to do the things you want , it matters is morethan working out for an exterior appearance in order to please others.
This year, I want to become more aware of the clutter I have in my life, I will try to donate everything that is not in line with the space. I suggest that you tune in with your emotions. Are you buying to fill in an emotional void or do you really need that? Buy only what is useful for you and meaningful, that way you will live a more balanced life and be gentle to the environment.
There goes without saying that no country in this world is better than another, but Japanese may come pretty close. The Japanese way of living is a very balanced way of living and all we can do is learn from them.
Contrary to Hector Garcia and Frances Morales’s book, the Ikigai Encyclopedia by Ken Mogi defines “ikigai” as being in harmony with the environment and those around yourself. He describes in this book, that in order to live a happy life, Japapnese people enjoy eating something sweet/enjoyable in the morning. You do not need to do something enjoyable for work but you can find something that you enjoy to do every day after work, you can pursue you passion after work hours. You can find meaning in every situation.
Another Japanese concept is Nagomi-this refers to balance, comfort and peace for the heart& mind, the equilibrium of multiple factor. In this other book- The way of Nagomi, Mogi suggests that in orders to find nagomi you need to forgive yourself your past mistakes and forgive others for the things they made against you.
You do not need to love something in order to find an ikigai, you only need to find small enjoyable things around yourself- you need to search for the activity you do without caring what others think of you. In order to remain yourself, as he suggests, you need to embrace change and leave the past behind.
I hope that in this new year you will learn to love yourself, to take one step at a time in the direction of your dreams. Believe in yourself.You are strong. YOU CAN 🙂
We all want happiness in our life, but, most of the time, we don’t appreciate the things we already have before wishing we had something else.
The first step is to be grateful for what you have even if you have little and also, be grateful for where you are right now. Your past self could not be believe what you went through and where are you know. Be calm and grateful. Even if you are feeling lost right now, it is a step in discovering who you are really are. As Jeff Gains, says in his book, Find who you really are, you don’t need to find your vocation, you need to try new things and be on the move. Eventually, something will take over, will call you just like when you fall in love. As Jay Shetty say Explore & Experiment in order to find out who you really are.
Be open to learn new things and be aware of the opportunities you came along. Pivot around the obstacles. There is a word I really like , it is called neuroplasticity – the ability of your organism to replace/reprogram your existing patterns /genes into new ones. This means that even though you may suck at something , for example at socializing with people, you may have anxiety, you can suppress that by putting yourself into new situations and go talk to people in social engagements.
In the book The power of Failure, dr. Tim Cantopher, say that a person is more happier if he has an objective. Those objectives should be clear and to be clear about what you want in life. He says that any disease related to stress should be seen as a indicator of a need to change. Also, he emphasizes that you need to pay attention to your relationships. In order to feel good, you need to also receive, not to be always that constantly gives.
Read, listen to everything around yourself, and also pay attention to your inner world while dealing with the world. You can do everything you want. Trust yourself. Trust yourself in any situation.
It goes without saying that health is the most important aspect of your life. Not being healthy can limit you from performing certain activities and while being sick, it is the thing that you miss the most, that you wish you were grateful for being healthy.
One of the key steps to having a healthier life is to begin to accommodate daily exercise in your daily life. For the next month, plan to have some objectives:
-daily walk
-a week without sugar, limit your intake only in weekend in small amounts
The emotions that you have can bring you insight on why certain situations are not good for you. More and more, different author came to the conclusion that oriental medicine already know that physical health is in closely bond with the emotions you are experience. That is why when exercising, the brain releases dopamine, which makes you feel good.
The people of Okinawa, a Japanese island manage to live a longer and healthier life than anyone else. Their secret is that they do daily exercise, have a healthy diet rich in vegetables & fruits and fish. In addition to that, they provide great support towards each other and have different activities & hobbies. Being surrounded by people you cherish, strengthens your immunity that protects you from illnesses. That is a great lesson for all of us, surround yourself with great people that are there for you even in bad times, not only when everything is perfect. Being healthy means being also in a great mental shape
The first sign of an existential crisis is feeling lost. You feel that you are lost in someone else life and you wonder how you got there. Usually, this feeling of being lost comes as a result of something bad that has happened in your life that makes you question your entire life. The decisions that brought you here, clearly won’t take you further.
BREATHE. How are you feeling now? Are you feeling anxious, stressed or do you feel depressed? Pause for a moment and acknowledge your state of mind. Why are you feeling this way? Has someone made you feel unworthy or do they hurt you in some way? Or maybe you are mad at yourself for not achieving something? Maybe, you wanted something to do , but you’ve never had the courage to do so. For example, I was working for a multinational, staying overtime each day and dreaming, precisely having nightmares every night about wrong reports. while the world and including myself experiencing a global pandemic, I was dealing as well with a psychopath boss at work that made me exhausted. I have lost myself, without me noticing I experienced a harsh depression that was undiagnosed only later, at one point I had no way out only to quit without having a job in the middle of a pandemic. Remember, nobody has the right to make you feel unworthy and make sure you value your mental and psychical health while you trying to achieve greatness at work. As some one said, remember that “we work to live, not live to work”, remember you are more than your work.
The key to overcome your existential crisis is to look in within. What do you value? Do you value free time, family, money, love, friendships? Make a list with your priorities. You have no idea what are your life priories? No problem, start a list with makes you happy, calm, it could be a walk in a park, it could be drawing or listening to music. As Hector Garcia and Frances Miralles wrote in their book Ikigai (https://www.amazon.com/Ikigai-Japanese-Secret-Long-Happy/dp/0143130722)the secret to discovering your passions is looking at your childhood since a child is free from the adult imposed barriers and most of his time, he expresses what his heart really wants. As I look back on my childhood, I remember that really liked books and even wrote a poem, so it is no wonder that know I found that I enjoy writing as well. To be hones, reading helped me a lot through difficult times, I had access to wonderful books that helped me through my rough times. There are plenty of books that offer you advice on how to overcome anxiety, depression and also sorts of difficult times in your life. One book I recommend is the book written by Nicole LePera ( How to do the work); this book provides excellent tools in understating yourself.
All books essentially consider an existential crisis a wake up call, you were on pilot mode, not thinking what you were doing and now , you begin to feel. Yes, you may feel lost, angry, but the outcome, even though is discovered through a long journey will be extraordinary. As Viktor Frankl says in his book The Man’s Search for Meaning, people want meaning in their life, they want a purpose to live for; whether is small or big, it doesn’t matter, it can be as simple of providing for your family or it can be as complex as curing a disease. When I read this book, it made sense, we humans need purpose, money can bring happiness, but if we do not have purpose in life, we can feel lost. Also, it is good to question things, as author James Hollis ( book Finding meaning in the second half of life) says having a crisis is a good thing, since it may be you have a mission in life, something that you put off and wants to unveil itself. Also, for those who do not like to read or do not have time, please listen to Jay Shetty’s podcast Purpose, this podcast essentially discusses purpose in life and as well different important topics in one’s life.
I hope that this helps. Remember, each step you take will bring you closer to a better version of yourself. You’ve got this.
Have you ever struggled with money? Maybe you didn’t have all the money you needed while growing up or maybe now, you have a decent amount of money, but you keep overspending. Money is just one aspect of your life. The relationship with money starts in your mind.
What you are planning to achieve in your life? Do you want a family? Or do you want to live on your own terms? Having a clear perspective of your goals helps you budget better and stay on your track with your finance. If you are at the point in your life where do you want to travel the world, a house may not be a priority, so your budget may something like this: 50% needs/general expenses, 30% travel budget and 20% savings. In that part of 20% of savings, you can save 10% for a house in the future and 10% for emergencies, this way you are not spending all your have.
In case you are already married, or you have a child, you may wish to have a house. In that case, many people go to a bank and ask for a credit. They will be in debt for the next 10-30 years for an asset they wish to posses. So, if you are planning to own a house, start searching the best bank credits with small interest rates, but beware of the hidden costs such as commissions. From my personal point of view, you should make a credit only when you are ready , not at the pressure of society to own a house. You don’t have to do what everyone else is doing . If you are comfortable with staying in a rented house, go ahead and do that for a couple of years before figuring things out. For me, personally, going in debt in order to buy a house is not applicable, since I consider that you should have a job that you are passionate about or at still like doing it, or working in a field that you see yourself working in for years. You need to be able to have a job, a steady income for that debt to be re-payed over the years.
Regarding investments, the best investment you can made is into yourself. It seems logical, that you are the only person that you will always have. So, be strong mentally and psychically fit, you can achieve everything you want.
Since you’ve found this article, maybe you need something to change in your life. Believe me, I was in your shoes and I still am. Let’s say that this blog is my way of doing so.
Acknowledge where you are at this point in your life. Is everything alright? Did you want to achieve something by a certain age and you didn’t. That’s okay, there’s no time limit to your dreams. Check in first your mental state: are you angry all the time-why this may happen? Are you happy? Are you okay?…Check and list your emotions that you are going through at this stage.
After you have acknowledged your emotions, try to find a reason why you are feeling this way-did you suffered from a heartbreak, or maybe you’ve lost your job? In many case, the reasons may be superficial. As psychologists say, suffering may come from your childhood; you were conditioned to behave or act in a certain way. I recommend you start reading the book “How to do the work” by Nicole LePera to help you in that area. Dig deep down into your condition and you may find yourself starting to change. It will be messy, you will be angry towards those who have raised you, but nobody’s at fault here. You have to break your old pattern and evolve into a new human being. The next step- your reinvention. After all, humans constantly evolve and change during their lives, you were not the same person you were 10 years ago, but that’s okay. Nobody expects that.
Dare to dream. What do you want to do with your life? Do you want to switch careers, do you want to find the love of our life? Start breaking your major goals into small ones: changing careers – such as figuring out what you are good at, taking some classes; finding love-meet new people, don’t judge people so easily. Find your “ikigai” ( your meaning in life). I recommend you read the book “The Ikigai Journey: A Practical Guide to Finding Happiness and Purpose the Japanese Way” by Hector Garcia.
I know that this blog post, probably didn’t help you a lot, it may be only a superficial recommendation from my part, but I hope that you will be able to transform your life for better.
Notes from Ladybug 